Who Cares for the Care-Giver?

  By Joyce Basler 

When crisis strikes and one’s world has been turned upside down, to whom do we turn?  While family, friends, doctors and lawyers, are likely to be on that list, many people also turn to their pastor as one who will listen and help them feel God’s presence and care in the midst of the pain.  But when crisis hits in the pastor’s life, to whom do they turn?

This was the question addressed recently in the third annual gathering of Presbytery Pastoral Care Network which met at Lindenwood Conference Center at Donaldson, Indiana on Oct. 21-24.   In our denomination, as many, the number of churches seeking pastors exceeds the number of pastors seeking a call.  It is, therefore, more important than ever that pastors receive the care that they need to do the most important task of leading a congregation.

By their title, Presbytery Pastoral Care Network (PPCN), there is an acknowledgment  that the care and nurture of pastors is a Presbytery responsibility.  Many presbyteries, however, find this an impossible task when the many other demands of Committees on Ministry and Executive Presbyters begin flooding in.  It’s not that COMs and EPs don’t care; it’s that the urgent matters of administration and churches in conflict often absorb the time, leaving little to deal with the real, everyday needs of pastors.  Another problem arises when we realize that it is the EP’s job to make referrals when a pastor seeks a move to another Presbytery.  The question becomes, is it safe to share doubts, weaknesses, human failings with the very one who can step in to block one’s career path?

To those concerns the 20 Presbyterian pastoral care givers from 15 presbyteries across the nation came to address themselves.  They heard  key-note speaker Arthur Paul Boers   discuss his book, Never Call Them Jerks, a family systems and faith based way of considering conflict within the church. Dr. Boers suggests that difficult people, conflict and pain within the human family of the church should be an expected part of being a pastor.  Healthy pastors are those with the faith and emotional resources to encounter conflict without being caught in the whirlwind. 

The conference attendees found themselves sorted into four different approaches to pastoral care-giving.  These four approaches all operate with the authorization of their presbyteries and with the understanding that confidentiality was their most pressing requirement.  Although, as in all care giving situations, imminent harm to one’s self or another or abuse of a child were the exceptions to this rule.

The four models of care are these:

Pastor-to-Pastor as a specific staff position

Having a professional person on staff to act as pastor to the pastors of the presbytery is probably the best model for facilitating the trust of those church leaders who are in need.   The professional person as a confidential friend who is out of the referencing loop is most likely to receive a receptive audience from pastors. This professional also facilitate group formation, mentoring relationships, and other relational resources to help pastors stay healthy.  Their struggle, though, is often in justifying their position when they can’t offer names and situations to account for the hours they spend at work.  While this model has much to offer, it is also the most expensive since another staff position is required.

Executive Presbyter or Associate EP with Pastoral Care as part of  job description

Because of the previously discussed conflict of interests, the best model for this type of pastoral care is the Associate who is not part of the referral process.  Often this individual has the greatest freedom to get involved (uninvited at times) because of a built in awareness of problems brought forth from session consultations and when conflict situations emerge.  When the right personality and strong pastoral and conflict management skills are present, much good care can be offered.  On the down side, the EP model of care often finds itself reacting to a crisis rather than having the freedom to proactively care for pastors who are not currently in the midst of turmoil.

Volunteers who do pastoral care with pastors.

Often the volunteer pastoral care giver is a retired pastor with a gift for connecting with pastors in need.  This model is of a friend who “holds the hand” of a pastor in crisis or transition.  The Presbytery often pays their mileage and expenses to move about the presbytery to meet with pastors.  Because these people have a clear separation from presbytery hierarchy they are considered safe, but because they are volunteers and also busy with other things, they are often spread too thin to do all that is needed.

Task force or Committee with specific responsibilities for care of pastors

These groups are the pastor’s advocates and present a relatively low cost solution to the problem of who will care for pastors.  They can facilitate groups, provide get-away weekends and trainings, and in many situations act as the spiritual friend that is needed. But trust is often low with such a group.  After all, they are peers, and pastors often don’t want their peers to be aware of real or perceived weaknesses.  The time factor is also an issue because these people have other responsibilities around which to work their care of pastors.

While the PPCN that gathered in October acknowledged the advantages and problems of each model listed and celebrated one another’s ministries, they also sought to form a network where they can gain new insights and where they can come for care themselves.  Especially when a huge burden has been laid upon their shoulders, they need a place where they can have access to a confidential, listening ear, as well as advise as it is needed.  To this end, Presbytery Pastoral Care Network welcomes  new members --$45 for active members who are in a care giving capacity, and $25 for affiliate members who are interested but not involved in care-giving. For more information about PPCN check out our web site at www.pastoralcarenetwork.org.